Watching AVPS
by Jessie Cullen-Potter 101 x
Summary: Hey so, this is the sequel to my story, Watching AVPM. It is the same concept with a few more people! Hope you all enjoy AVPS as much as you did AVPM and as much as I loved writing it! Thank you!1
1. Chapter 1

**Heyyy! I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK! And ready to start another story, another play and another romance! Eeeeep I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited for this! After the amount of support I had for Watching AVPM I decided to make another but for AVPS(A Very Potter Sequel) Plus I have been getting PMs and reviews telling me to do another, so tada! Here I am!**

**Okay, so this first chapter is going to be a bit of a 'Pilot' chapter so there won't be anything from the play in it just yet. Okay, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: Characters are J.K. Rowling's, Script belongs to the totally amazing, most beautiful sexily gorgeous awesomely wicked and bloody brilliant people of….. STARKID! HOWEVER! the plot is mine**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1 – Miss Lovegood and Others**

So, A Very Potter Musical was now finished. The group of teenagers were attempting to sleep through Ronald Weasley's loud snoring and were surprisingly successful. The two professors and Lucius Malfoy were all asleep in the Host's, Hermione Granger, spare bedroom. However this all soon changed when Jane Granger walked downstairs and began to prepare a nice big breakfast for everyone to enjoy.

The smell of bacon being fried wafted throughout the house and soon, there was a clatter of small feet padding their way down the stairs. Darren poked his little head around the door to see several people laying around still asleep. He grinned to himself before climbing onto the sofa arm. This was the sofa where Draco and Hermione were curled up together.

"CANNONBALL!" Darren yelled as he cannonballed right onto his sister and her new boyfriend. The yell woke everyone, except Ron, up and they all laughed themselves into hysterics as Darren landed on Draco and Hermione, causing them to grunt in pain before Draco started tickling the boy with all his might.

Jane walked through to the living room to see what all the commotion was about. However, when she heard Darren's squeals of laughter, she just gave a light giggle and moved back into the kitchen.

"Hermione, dear, you need to owl Luna remember?" Jane asked her daughter.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that. Harry could I borrow Hedwig?" Hermione asked.

"Umm, Hermione, I didn't bring Hedwig." Harry said confused.

"But she's right there." Hermione said pointing to the owl sitting on the fireplace above the loveseat where Harry and Ginny were snuggled together. Harry looked to where she was pointing and was very confused. He shrugged and nodded. Hermione grinned and rushed up to her room to get some parchment and an automatic ink quill. She found it on one of her many escapades to Diagon Alley. On her way back down the hallway she decided to stop at the guest bedroom and wake the three adults that lay inside. She knocked on the door and poked her head around the frame to see the three adults laying in the same bed, spooning one another. Hermione slapped her hand to her mouth and took a picture with her wand, giggling silently into her hand.

"Guys, WAKE UP! Mum's cooking breakfast!" She yelled into the room and the three men jolted out of their sleep and sprang away from each other very quickly, making Hermione laugh her little heart out. She then went back downstairs giggling all the way.

She walked into the room to see her dad awake. "Morning daddy." She said smiling and kissing him on the cheek.

"Morning sweetheart." He replied smiling. Hermione kneeled down and began her letter to Luna.

_Dear Luna,_

_Hi Luna! How are you? I'm good. So, I was wondering if you would like to come over to watch this musical with us? By us I mean, myself, Harry, Ginny, Ron, A new friend, Draco, Cho, Lucius Malfoy, Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape. It's a musical about Harry called A Very Potter Sequel, it's the sequel to A Very Potter Musical and we got told not to invite anyone else until the second one so tada, this is me inviting you! Everyone else says that you should come too. Also, if you wanted, you could stay after that and watch the third one with us too? Okay, if you want to come over, just floo to my house. Darren would love to see you! Oh and if you are coming, hurry because breakfast may be gone. We'll save you some though._

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Hermione x_

Hermione sighed and sent the letter off with Hedwig. Now that was done, she was free to enjoy her full English breakfast complete with, sausage, bacon, hash browns, baked beans, fried eggs, button mushrooms, black pudding, tomatoes, and a little bit of scrambled eggs. Nom, tasty. Everyone was silent while eating, except for when someone would say how amazing Jane's food was. The peace and quiet wouldn't last long, however, as the group heard a loud thump in the hall. This left everyone confused, especially when that thump was followed by another two thumps. All the wizards and witches had their wands out and Hermione told her family to go into the kitchen until someone came in for them.

Hermione made to step forward but was pulled back by Draco.

"Mya, let Uncle Sev go, or at least Professor Dumbledore." He whispered in her ear. She gave a stiff nod and allowed the two aforementioned people to step into the hallway. When they had gone through the door, the two professors saw a very strange group of people. They had no idea what was going on or, apparently, they didn't look at each other to see who had come along. Therefore it came as a huge surprise when there were three yells of shock, with three different names.

"Sirius?!" "Padfoot?!" "Balck?!" Came from the hallway. All shocked and scared. However, as soon as the words caught Harry's ears, he ran into the hallway and what he saw shocked him. He gave out a heartened sob before launching himself at the man in question. Everyone back in the living room were sure it was safe when they didn't hear any commotion and so they went to check it out, Hermione in front. She peered around the door and what she saw caused her great shock and she started sobbing before being comforted by Mr Remus Lupin. The other occupant of the hall was in a bright pink suit, and took the nickname of a toad to a whole new level. That's right people, Delores Umbridge is in the building! She was sat looking quite sour.

Harry managed to break away from Sirius for a second to ask one word. "How?".

"That is something I think we all want to know." Dumbledore said looking at Sirius with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"How about we take this into the living room?" Hermione asked and Dumbledore nodded. Everyone took a seat where ever they could, Harry Sirius and Remus all on the sofa, with Ginny in between Harry's legs on the floor. Tom was back on the bean bag, staying quiet, and Ron and Cho on the floor. Hermione and Draco was in the love seat, Dumbledore was in the arm chair and Severus and Lucius were on the window seat that had, up until that point, been completely void of a person. Just as Sirius was about to start talking, a small voice from the kitchen came through the door.

"Hermione, is it safe?" Jane asked and Hermione blushed at forgetting her family in the kitchen.

"Yes Mum, it's safe. You can come out now." Hermione said and soon her family came out and were retreating upstairs. They didn't question anything about how or why there were another three strangers in their house, they just went with it. Once they were gone, everyone looked back to Sirius.

"Alright, so. Did any of you notice that when I went through the veil, I was hit with a stunner, and not the killing curse?" **(A/N: In the books it's a stunner… I think… been a while lol) **At everyone's blank looks he sighed. "Well, it was a stunner. It took me a while but when I was in the veil, it was like a room full of different doors. There were about 100 different doors and something inside of me told me that through one of those doors would be a way out of the veil. It took me 86 doors before I found one that lead to some place in the world that I knew. I didn't count on it bringing me to your place Hermione." He said, throwing a little wink in Hermione's direction. "But here I am. Now what are you all doing here?" He asked confused.

"I'd like to know the same thing!" Came the shrill voice of the Toad. Everyone looked at her, and snorted before turning away from her, making her splutter unattractively.

"Well, I'm assuming that your hear to watch these musicals with us." Cho said quietly, making the three newcomers look in her direction.

"What musicals?" They asked.

"They were created by this muggle group called Starkid and they are all about Harry's life with a few twists on the truths." Ginny said smiling at them. Remus and Sirius smiled at her whereas Umbridge gave her a filthy look. Just then the fire erupted into an emerald green fire before disappearing just as suddenly as it came, and out stepped Luna Lovegood.

"Hello everyone. Hermione, thanks for inviting me. You know, your house is very clean of wrackspurts. It's a good thing. Hello Harry, Professors, everyone." She said in her light airy voice . Everyone said hi back. "So, Hermione said something about a musical? Well if it is the one I think your talking about then I would love to stay. The third musical I helped Starkid with. It was pretty amazing really. I mean, Daddy took me to Chicago over Christmas break during my forth year because he had a friend who had the horn of a rumple-horned Snorcack. Anyway, we were in the muggle area of Chicago and this group of muggles came over and said that I looked perfect for the part of Luna Lovegood in their play. I, of course, told them that I was called Luna Lovegood and they grinned and gave me a script. I was happy enough to go along and be on stage with them. However in the third musical, they all have scripts handy because it was just a read through but it was still so much fun." She finished and everyone looked at her with astonished looks.

She looked around and her eyes found Tom's. "I know who you are. You're Tom Riddle." She said smiling. "Don't worry, I won't freak out or anything. You have jigglyhicksters all over you. They're only attracted to pure souls. I think we'll be great friends." She smiled airily at him making his eyes soften and mouth turn into a smile. However that didn't last long because at once Sirius and Remus started yelling.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOM RIDDLE IS HERE?! DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?! WHAT HE'S DONE?!" Came from the pair of them.

"CALM DOWN! It is indeed Tom Riddle, however, he has had a bit of remorse pie and liked it." Dumbledore said smiling with a stern look in his eyes. The group cracked up at the reference to the musical and this itself put everyone at ease. "Now, I do believe that it is time to start the play. Miss Granger, if you would?" Dumbledore smiled kindly and Hermione went up and clicked on the computer screen. However before the scene could start the toad decided to talk.

"I still don't know why I'm here!" She screeched.

"Well, my guess is that your person could be in this play." Draco said quietly. She looked repulsed.

"What?! I would never consort myself with muggles, how dare you accuse me of such things!" She screamed. The others rolled their eyes at the woman before turning back to the screen. Once again the play was not playing because of a slip of parchment floating down from the ceiling. Snape picked it up and read it aloud.

_Hey everyone, its me, Starkid. So just letting you know we sort of pushed Sirius into the right door and made the others come too. By the way, Hi Luna good to see you again! Okay so, in this play, Ginny you aren't in it much but the person who plays you is in it… does that make sense? _ Ginny gave a nod. _Okay so, we'll leave you to it then. Have fun! Oh and Umbridge, by the end of the play, you will know that Sirius Black is an innocent man and therefore you will have to officially name him a free man, yes Harry I know, I'm awesome. Right enjoy the show and I'll check in later!_

After that the screen began to come to life and everyone snuggled into their other half, but Luna didn't know where to sit. Therefore, without asking, she plonked herself down, next to Tom on the window seat and the play began…

* * *

**[A/N: Heeeeeey! Sooooooooooo, what did you think of this chapter?! This is going to be the start of another epicness that is STARKID AWESOMENESS! Hehe, okay, soooooo I hope to hear from everyone who read Watching AVPM and hope that you are all loyal to this one too! THANK YOU WORLD!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heyyy, so after I posted the first chapter everyone was begging for another chapter soooooo tatatataaaaa! Here I am! Hehehe, andyways, the reviews I got from the last chapter were amazing and I thank you all sooooo very much! I got a review for Watching AVPM the other day and it told me that they had never heard of A Very Potter Musical before until they came across my story and I was like *GASP* shock horror! But then they said that they watched it on youtube after chapter 1 to see what it was about and loved it, then read my story and it made life better :D so I made an AVPM fan! Woop woop! Hehehe, anywho, ONTO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer: Do I need to say it? Just look at chappie 1!**

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Evil Plans**

Everyone settled down as the screen began to play, Sirius and Remus were getting a little angsty while Umbitch – 'scuse me Umbridge – was just scowling at the screen as if it had insulted her… Maybe she can see the future…

**(Dark stage and Lucius Malfoy is on stage in a black cloak with the hood up, doing a pose. Music is playing)**

"Father, is-is that you?" Draco asked horrified but amused at the same time. Lucius looked at the screen cringing before shrugging. The girls – except the toad – giggled into their hands, receiving glares from Lucius himself.

**LUCIUS: (Turns head to side of the stage) Your Late.**

**(Enter Yaxley with a hood up)**

"Who is that supposed to be?! I'm sorry but the Death Eaters I've met have never had an eye patch." Sirius declared looking at the screen with confusion.

"Well, if you shut your mouth Black, we might find out." Snape snapped. Hehe, alliteration…

**YAXLEY: (Throws hood off his head to reveal an eye patch on one eye) Late? What's it matter? (Holds the paper in his hand) Look at this morning's Profit; 'The Boy-Who-Lived does it again, the Dark Lord dead for good.' **

"Dayuum straight!" Ron and Tom said together, making both Cho and Luna giggle a little before Luna went back to smiling dreamily at the screen. The other teenagers rolled their eyes while the adults, again except Umbitch, shook their heads in amusement.

**I knew it! We backed the wrong side... AGAIN! (Begins to pace)**

"Awww he is such a child!" Ginny said giggle as she lay her head on Harry's shoulder. Sirius caught this and immediately started to wonder.

**LUCIUS: Calm yourself, Yaxley. **

"Ahhh, Yaxley. What a lovely man. Very loyal, you know." Umbridge said with an affectionate smile, while everyone looked disgusted at her.

"Lady, you got issues." Siruis, Tom and Hermione said together, making the others laugh and Umbridge scowl.

**YAXLEY: All us Death Eaters are going to Azkaban now! Nnnnooooo! No no no no no! (stamps feet) Ughh!**

"Yes you are! Aren't you a clever boy? Have a nice trip and don't come back!" This was surprisingly said by Remus, which made everyone look at him as if he was mental, although being friends with Sirius would probably make anyone mental.

**LUCIUS: (Rolls eyes and side-skips over the stage) **

"What the hell was that?!" Came from Draco, Lucius and Snape while everyone else – including Umbridge ! I know, shocker right?! – were laughing their heads off. Hermione was crying into Draco's shirt as he gave his father a mortified look.

"Don't look at me! That is not me!" Lucius defended looking almost as repulsed as his son.

"Actually, I believe they got you just perfectly, Lucy." Sirius and Remus said, chuckling. "You have always waltzed around like a pansy." This of course made everyone who was present for the first musical, burst into laughter once again, remembering the whole 'Dances are for pansies. Hey you, what's your name?' 'Pansy.' 'PERFECT!' hehehe, good times, good times. However for those who were not present were extremely confused.

**Do you have what I sent you for, or not?**

**YAXLEY: (Takes out a package from his cloak) Yeah, I got it. (Holds up the package) I had to break into the Ministry of Magic for it, but I got it.**

"Ooooooh, what is it?!" Ron, Dumbledore, Sirius and Luna said together in the same mystified voice. Slightly creepy… in every way possible…

**LUCIUS: Excellent. (Holding the bag package.) **

**YAXLEY: Lucius, you should see the Ministry. The Dark Lord not dead more than a day and they've already got the wizard cops after us. **

"Do they mean Aurors? 'Cause I've never heard of a 'wizard cop' before?" Ron asked and Hermione nodded, explaining how in the muggle world Aurors were called Police and in muggle America, they were called cops.

"You would know that if you paid any attention in muggle studies Ronald." She said firmly while Draco snorted at Ron's torture. Even though they were friends now, it didn't mean he didn't like to see them in pain.

**LUCIUS: Damn those wizard cops. Well, none of that matters anymore as long as we have this. **

**YAXLEY: Who do you think you are? **

"Yeah! Who do you think you are?!" Dumbledore said childishly.

"Is he okay?" Remus asked, looking at the headmaster with a worried look on his face.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure anymore." Luna said.

**We don't stand a chance against the wizard cops, not even you Lucius Malfoy. (Lucius takes hood off his head) **

"AHA! It IS you Lucy!" Sirius shouted giggling. Lucius frowned.

**LUCIUS: (Sings with arms in a right-angle) Don't ever tell me what I can't do.**

"HE SINGS!" Harry and Ginny yell gasping in shock.

**(Does a toe tap with foot) **

"What the HELL was that?!" Draco shouted along with his father. "You do ballet now?!" Draco asked his father, scared shitless. Lucius blushed.

**I'd hold my tongue if I were you. (Glides over to Yaxley) For all we know, You-Know-Who could be watching us. **

"Umm, no he can't, he's dead and gone for good." Tom said grinning towards his brother. Harry grinned back, shocking the three who arrived before Luna.

"Oh, Tom. Are you going to be Harry's brother? Oh that's a wonderful idea!" She said airily.

**YAXLEY: He can't be, he's dead. **

"Hehe, Tom and Yaxley are the same." Ron and Luna giggled making said boy frown, but smile at the serene smile on Luna's face.

**LUCIUS: (Swapped sides with Yaxley) That never stopped our plans before. (Strikes a pose) You have no IDEA what I have in store, Do you really think you would be at my door if we had nothing to discuss? He may be gone but that is just as well... (Pulls a curtain for a hole to appear) Come inside, don't you fret, (Yaxley enters the hole) For its not over yet. **

"Umm, yes it is… I'm confused…" Harry said, his eyebrows furrowed. Umbridge snorted.

"Typical, Mr Potter. You never did understood anything from my classes. What with you sprouting nonsense about the Dark Lord returning before he actually did." She sniffed. Everyone scowled at her ugly face.

"First of all, that is because your so-called lessons were complete and utter bullshit! And I'm sorry, but I NEVER disrespects a professor, however you are not one so therefore, yours lessons were complete bullshit, your detentions were sick torture sessions and your obsession with cats is worse than Professor Dumbledore and Arthur Weasley's obsession with muggles!" Hermione stood, yelling at the Ministry official. Everyone just sat there for a while, many with their mouths hanging. About three minutes later, was when there was a noise…

"WOO! WOO! WOO! Go Hermione! That was like the most BADASS thing you've ever done I mean that was like Argghhhh, Hermione! You are my new idol!" Ron, Snape and Sirius said together. This equivocally broke the tension and everyone laughed while Umbridge sat with a scowl on her face.

"HOW DARE YOU!" She screeched. "I AM A MI-" and she was cut off by,

"Oh shut up you old hag." Dumbledore said, shocking everyone into another bout of laughter.

"Wait, what did you mean by torture sessions, Hermione?" Sirius and Ginny asked looking worried. Hermione bit her lip, looking over to Harry who sighed and showed the upside of his hand to his Godfather who went red in the face, stared at Umbridge for a while, before going into Hermione's back garden and yelling about how he would kill her. Ginny however, just stood up and walked over to Delores and slapped her hard across the face. This left many in a state of shock.

Soon enough, Sirius returned and the play continued...

**(Exit Lucius and Yaxley, Enter several Death Eaters)**

**DEATH EATERS: (In two long lines entering from opposite sides of stage(Singing)) Evil Plans... we are making evil plans... (Stop when in one long row) Evil things with evil hands! (Shows jazz hands) We are making ev-vil Plans! **

This alone had everyone in stitches once again. And by everyone, meant every _human_ so therefore Umbitch doesn't count as she is the PuzyQuen Of TOADS! **[A/N: Sorry, I had to put that in there, it's for a friend… :P] **Ahhhh, what it must be like to be sitting with such royalty… sigh…

**(Separate to allow Lucius to enter the centre) **

**DEATH EATER #1: Lucius Malfoy, why have you called us here, Wahh!**

"I want to meet the death eater who actually does that! Please tell me there's a death eater who actually does that!" Tom and Harry asked together. Ginny leaned down to Cho and whispered,

"As I said, it's a new Fred and George I tell you!" this made them both giggle.

**DEATH EATER #2: Eh, what do we do Lucius? **

**DEATH EATER #3: There's nothing too do, the Dark Lord is dead and Harry Potter wins end of story. **

"Hey, does that guy sound like Snape?" Luna asked. Severus blushed under such scrutiny.

"Woo! Snapey is BACK!" Lucius grinned. Remus and Sirius both looked confused.

"Seriously Sirius, when you see this guy, you will want to marry him." Draco said smirking. Hermione giggled up at him and he smiled down at her. Sirius and Remus looked to each other and thought, _What happened during the first musical?! _

**LUCIUS: (Sighs) Yes, I know I know, He marries Ginny, they live happily ever after, there is literally no way to move forward from this point. **

"YEY! I love weddings!" Dumbledore and Snape squeal. Several shuffles were heard as they were all trying to get as far from the two as humanly possible. Harry and Ginny however, looked perfectly content, and were smiling at each other.

**(Enter Yaxley) **

**YAXLEY: Then why are we all here? **

**LUCIUS: I was just getting to that. Harry Potter! **

"WOO!" Everyone but Umbitch yelled.

**(Death eaters groan) We are in this sorry state because of him.**

"Yup!" Ron grinned.

**And to think of all the chances we had to destroy him. **

"You all had oh so many, but I'm still alive!" Harry sang grinning. This made everyone chuckle.

**Why, if we had destroyed him at his first year of Hogwarts, we'd be ruling the world by now! **

"Nooo." Sirius and Remus said dramatically.

**DEATH EATER #1: Yes, Lucius, No one is arguing that wahh.**

"Firstly, we are all arguing with that and surprised no-one thought of that, and secondly – introduce me to this death eater already!" Cho giggled.

**DEATH EATER #2: Yes but what does it matter, you can't change the past. **

"He wouldn't?!" Everyone bar Umbridge and Lucius gasped.

**LUCIUS: Oh? (Sings) I know it seems impossible, we've been thrown off our track, but if we can't move forward, why shouldn't we move back? **

"Apparently, I would…" Lucius murmured.

**(Takes out a time-turner from the bag) **

"And I wonder where he got that from?!" Everyone asked turning suspiciously to Umbridge who looked all sweet an innocent… for a toad.

**Friends and companions of evil and sin, think not of loss, but a new way to win! (Death eaters crowd him) For what is present, without a beginning, to start it all? **

**YAXLEY: Go on.**

**LUCIUS: There is a boy that everyone knows, the plan is simple. I propose that we choke the weed before it grows up and ends it all. (Death eaters look confused) Do you follow me?**

"Yes." Everyone said glumly, some mumbling an 'unfortunately' afterwards.

**DEATH EATER #1: (Puts hand up) No. **

"Idiot." Was heard around the group.

**LUCIUS: The Dark Lord would have survived had they never met. **

"Weeeelllll, that's only a small possibility." Hermione said.

**DEATH EATER #2: Wait, so you're saying he wouldn't be destroyed?**

"Not exactly." Ron squeaked. Like literally he squeaked it.

**LUCIUS: He'd be alive, what don't you get? **

"That's no guarantee." Tom mumbled.

**DEATH EATER #3: I'm still not understanding! (Others nod in agreement)**

"That is because you are all inarticulate bumblers!" Snape said frustrated. This brought a wave of chuckles around the room.

**LUCIUS: With Potter gone, the future will be set.**

"Ehhhhhhhhh, maybe, maybe not…" Harry said in a high voice. Seriously, Ron and Harry sound like they are on helium or something… Be afraid, be very afraid.

**DEATH EATERS: Ahhhhhh. **

"Finally! You dumb son-of-a-bitches!" Lucius and Remus said exasperated.

**LUCIUS: So it's not over yet! **

**DEATH EATRS: (Lucius is back in the centre of the group) Evil plans! What a brilliant evil plan! Malfoy (Death eaters start to touch him all over) **

"Ewww! They are touching me! Sevvy make them stop touching me!" Lucius cried, while _Sevvy _cringed away from the blonde.

**you're an evil man! We are making evil plans! **

**LUCIUS: (Speaking) So it is decided! We shall use this time turner to go back in time to Harry Potter's first year at Hogwarts, We'll destroy him before he ever gets a chance to destroy us! My friends! I think we're going back! **

"Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts! To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts! Its all that I love and its all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts! I think we're going back!" The kids all sang and did a little dance – including Tom – before collapsing in a heap of giggles while the adults just looked on from the side in amusement.

**Who's with me?! (Death eaters: yeah!) **

"Awww, they didn't do it!" Ron said downhearted.

**ALL ON STAGE: Our history is nothing more than what the loser settled for. **

**LUCIUS: So look alive and don't forget, that it's not over,**

**DEATH EATERS: It's not over, NO! Its! Not! Over Yet!**

**LUICUS: Hahahahahahaha! (Spins around twiddling the time turner with the stage flashing different colours) **

"Hehe, he looked weird." Lucius laughed… at himself… It must be a Malfoy thing…

**(Exit all on stage)**

**('Gotta Get Back TO Hogwarts' starts playing and it shows the title on screen)**

**(Enter conductor with a platform sign)**

**CONDUCTOR: Platform 9, Platform 10, nothing in between. **

"Of course not! It's 'cause you have to run through a brick wall to get to a platform in between you freaking moron!" Umbridge screeched as everyone chuckled and looked afraid.

**(Stands there)... (Still standing there)...**

Giggles were heard…

**HARRY: (Bursts through the side door in a red and gold striped jumper with a blue sweat band around his forehead.) Can someone tell me how to get to platform nine and three quarters?!**

"Wooooooooooooooooooo! Go HARRY! GO HARRY GO HARRY ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE ITS YOU'RE BIRTHDAY!" Sirius shouted standing up doing a strange dance. I think Harry is scarred for life… And the afterlife… _Is that even legal?!, _Harry thought as he looked on at his godfather.

* * *

**[A/N: I had fun writing this! I hope it gets as good reviews as the first chapter did! By the way thanks for those! Oh and **_**Littleakmonster **_** the answer is Rita Skeeter ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Heeyyyyy sooooo, here I am! AGAIN! Updating this totally awesome thing that we have going on here!**

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Harry Freaking Potter!**

After Sirius had decided to sit down and shut up like a good little doggie, the gang decided to explain some things.

"Okay, so. We all got asked here by this Starkid person – people – whatever they are – and all of us, except you Sirius, and Remus, have been here since yesterday." Harry explained, purposely missing out the toad in pink, who gave a little huff.

"Hem hem." She sniffed and everyone looked at her. "I would just like to ask a few questions, if I may before we begin." Before waiting for a reply, she continued on. "I would first like to know why there is a murderer in your living room Miss Granger, secondly, Have you been harbouring a murderer Miss Granger? And thirdly, why am I here? All I have seen so far is a bunch of youths attempting to sing and dance on stage!" She huffed.

"Firstly, Sirius is not a murderer he is an amazing godfather and practically an uncle to Ron and I. Secondly, if by harbouring a 'murderer' you mean not telling you where he's been, then sure I have been harbouring a murderer, go ahead, send me to Azkaban, I dare you. Thirdly, I have no idea so just keep your trap shut and let us watch the play if you don't want to." Hermione said, shocking everyone into silence. Umbridge was sat there with her mouth hanging open in complete shock at what Mia had just said to her. Her boys were proud of her and Sirius just looked like all his Christmases had come at once.

"Ahhh, Hermione! I KNEW you weren't a complete prude! Maybe there is hope for you yet to turn into a fine – Female – Marauder!" Sirius grinned punching her in the arm. Hermione blushed at the praise and hid in Draco's shoulder.

"Anywho, back to explaining things and what happened in the first play… Firstly, we found out that harry had been living underneath some stairs for the first eleven years of his life, umm-" Ron was cut off by a furious animagus.

"WHAT?! CUPBOARD – STAIRS – UNDER – HARRY – DURSLEY'S – KILL!" Sirius stuttered out. It was quite amusing really because he had this one vein that was popping out of his forehead and Remus had to literally sit on him to stop him from going to kill the muggles that call themselves human and *shivers* normal.

"ANYWAY!" Draco yelled, gathering the attention from the room. "Harry came to Hogwarts all was fine and dandy, then the house – " Draco was cut off by Harry and Ron who were laughing between themselves.

"D-d-did you j-just say d-d-dandy?!" Ron snickered and as Draco's face heated up, everyone burst into laughter. Around five minutes later everyone sobered up.

"Anyway, so – ahh, Draco, you do make me laugh – umm, yeah there was a House-cup tournament, which is basically the tri-wizard tournament, and Voldemort came back through Quirrel, who got sent to Azkaban. Uhh, Quirrel and Voldy have a great bromance going on, Hermione has Ron and Draco chasing after her… umm, Snape dies, yeah Snape dies, theres a scarf of sexual preference that we haven't met yet and uhhh Dumbledore's gay! Oh yeah and Draco is played by a girl who's playing a guy as Draco and keeps on going on about Pigfarts! Its on Mars… And Ron believes in God-like talking Lions." Tom said in a happy voice. Sirius and Remus look at each other before looking around the group.

"Snape dies?!" Sirius asked with excitement.

"I can sense your deepest sorrow, Black." Snape sneered.

"Oh hush, Siri! So, Dumbledore is actually gay?" Remus asked completely serious which made everyone burst out laughing once more.

"Yup and apparently has a thing for Snape!" Ginny screamed as she hugged her ribs from laughing so hard. Sirius, who had just taken a sip of water, spat it back out and burst into laughter along with the rest of the group.

"We need to make a scarf of sexual preference, Moony." Sirius said still chuckling to his best friend. "WAIT! Where were Moony and I in the first play?" Sirius pouted.

"We don't actually know the answer to that one." Cho blushed. "But! Maybe, your in the sequel which we can continue watching if you all stop questioning everything…" She left off optionally, and once everyone nodded the play began once again.

**(Harry looks over to the conductor and walks over to him)**

**HARRY: Excuse me sir! Can you tell me how to get to platform nine and three quart-**

"Why didn't you know where the platform was and why did you ask a muggle conductor?" Sirius asked shaking his head.

"Well, the Dursley's didn't tell me where it was and Hagrid didn't when he gave me my ticket." Harry replied.

"But then how did you get on the platform?" Remus asked confused.

"I'm sure it'll mention something, I mean it's a pretty important part of my life." Harry said chuckling. Remus and Sirius looked confused, as did the others, but they kept silent and just watched.

**CONDUCTOR: Platform nine and three-quarters?! There ain't no such thing.**

"Uhh, yeah there is!" Sirius said, forgetting that he's a muggle. Everyone shook their heads in amusement.

**You're the seven-hundredth kid to ask me that, and I still refuse to believe that it exists. **

"Well, if there are seven hundred kids asking you, then obviously there's no such thing, I mean who would ever believe a kid?" Remus stated sarcastically.

**HARRY: But sir, you've gotta help me, I just ran away from home from my mean aunt and uncle, they keep me under some stairs. You gotta believe me, look I got a letter from Hogwarts School (Gets letter out) Witchcraft and(conductor walks away and Harry shouts after him) - Sir please! A-a bird gave it to me! (On his own and pouting) Yeah right, Hogwarts. (Sits on trunk) **

By the end of that, everyone was chuckling at Harry's stupidity, all except Harry as he was huffing about everyone laughing at him. Ginny kissed his cheek and stopped laughing, for him.

**(Enter Molly)**

**MOLLY: Oh Hurry kids! We're gonna miss the train! C'MON Weasley's!**

"WOOOOOOOOOOO! WEASLEY'S IN THE HOUSE SAY YO!" Ron yelled. However, instead of getting a 'yo' from Ginny, he got a very calm…

"No." From Ginny instead, to which he sat down and pouted making Cho giggle.

**BILL! (Enter Bill)**

"Yeah, Bill wasn't there." Harry and Ron mused.

**BILL: Yo yo Ma!**

"Hehehe, he sounds funny." Ginny giggled.

**MOLLY: CHARLIE! (Enter Charlie) **

"He wasn't there either." The two mused once more.

**CHARLIE: 'Sup Mammy!**

"Awww, ittle bitty Charlie is an ickle mammy's boy!" Sirius and Draco said together in baby voices making everyone chuckle.

"There has to be some sort of gene in the Black family that makes you so… strange…" Snape pondered. Sirius and Draco Hi-5'd.

"That's not something to be proud of, Draco." Lucius hissed. "But, at least you got the amazing Malfoy looks." Lucius smirked at his son who grinned back.

"You must be referring to Draco's grandfather because it looks like good looks, skip a generation." Hermione stated pretending to be thinking hard. Lucius scowled at her while everyone burst out laughing, but Dumbledore just had mirth in his twinkling eyes.

**MOLLY: Percy! (Enter Percy)**

"Finally!" Harry yelled.

"Somebody who was actually there!" Ron finished.

"Hey! I was gonna say that!" Harry pouted childishly as Ron stuck his tongue out. Ginny leaned over to Hermione and whispered,

"As I said, Fred and George all over again." Making Hermione giggle and Draco snort.

**PERCY: Hello Mother. **

**MOLLY: Fred and George! (Enter the twins who are chuckling and bend forward and backwards every now and then with their laughing)**

Everyone burst into laughter at the sight of the twins. They looked hilarious!

**FRED: But I'm George.**

**MOLLY: Nice try, you got an 'F' on your shirt dumbass. (They both lean forward in laughter) **

This caused another bout in laughter.

**(Enter Arthur Weasley)**

**ARTHUR: Oh boy! Real muggles! (to the audience and carrying an old camera) Everybody say chocolate frogs! (Slams hand down on the top of the camera) I think I got it! Oh boy its so silly!**

This made Harry and Hermione throw their heads back and laugh. Everyone else looked confused.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked.

"Nothing as long as your dad doesn't actually do that." Harry wheezed out. This made Ron even more confused.

"But he does that all the time." Ginny said looking at the two as if they were crazy. Harry and Hermione looked at each other before laughing once again. After about five minutes, they had both calmed down.

"Wait here." Hermione giggled as she left the room to go up to her bedroom. She was still laughing when she came downstairs, holding an exact replica of the one of the screen. "This is a muggle camera. Now, show me exactly what Mr Weasley does with his camera." She said, holding the camera out to Ron who took it and copied the action made by the Arthur on screen. Hermione and Harry were about to start laughing once more, but controlled themselves after a warning look from both Severus and Lucius. "Okay, yeah that isn't how they work because you don't get any form of a picture with that. Alright, everyone huddle up, I want a nice group photo – and Gin, watch carefully so that you can show you dad how to operate it properly." Hermione giggled and so everyone huddled up. In the back there were Professors Dumbledore and Snape with Remus and Sirius on Dumbledore's side, and Lucius on Snape's side. Harry was in front of Sirius, with Ginny in his lap, Ron was in front of Remus with Cho in his lap and Tom was in front of Dumbledore with Luna in his lap. Draco sat out of this one because Mia was taking the photo and he wanted one with her only. Umbridge was sat in a corner, looking like a hermit… which rhymes with Kermit… who is a frog… awww they would be so cute together!

"Okay, now I want nice big smiles, from everyone!" Hermione said giggling as she saw Lucius and Snape's attempts of smiles. Hermione clicked a button and a flash went off before a piece of photo paper came out of the little slit, still grey. Hermione took hold of the piece and started wafting it around. The wizards, pureblood and halfblood alike, watched in pure fascination as a picture slowly began to form on the little square piece of paper. Soon enough, there was the whole group sat smiling up at them, not moving, frozen in time. "That's one for the memory books." Hermione mused.

"Hey, Mia, can you and I have a picture together? Preferably two?" Draco asked and she nodded.

"Now, Ginny, you remember what I did yes? Good, now just press the button once let the paper come out and then press the button again." Hermione explained as she positioned herself with Draco on the couch. Draco had his arm around her shoulder and her head resting against his chest. They were both smiling and looked really cute together. Ginny did as instructed and soon, both Hermione and Draco had a photo each. After everyone had settled once more, the play continued…

**MOLLY: Oh Arthur, quit playing with that muggle picture maker, (ARTHUR: Oh right dear.) (Molly goes up the line of 'boys' saying their names) George, Fred, Perce, Charlie, Bill... Where's Ron with your sister?! **

"Did somebody say Ron?!" Ron asked as the people who understood, chuckled.

**(Enter Ron)**

**RON: Did somebody say Ron? **

"Oh dear." Umbridge said, shaking her head in disgust.

**MOLLY: Come on hurry, your gonna miss your train! **

**RON: Well I'm trying to go faster, (Pulls Ginny out holding her hand and she is sucking her thumb) **

"WHY AM I SUCKING MY THUMB?!" Ginny screamed at the screen. Harry calmed her down by placing feather light kisses to her neck.

"They're very cute together, don't you think? I wish I had someone like that." Luna said in her airy voice as she placed her head on Tom's shoulder. Tom was looking down at her and smiling so serenely that, he had almost forgotten where they were, until of course the screen started up again.

**but I got this idiot little sister! **

"Hey!" Ginny said.

"Sorry!" Ron said.

**MOLLY: Oh Ronny! **

"Yeah, you're gonna get it!" Ginny grinned.

**Apologise to your idiot sister! **

"HEY?!" Ginny screeched again and the others snickered at her.

**RON: NO!**

**MOLLY: Oh your gonna get it! (Slaps Bill over the head and it passes down to Ron who passes it to Ginny who squeals in pain.) **

"Hehehehe, evil!" Ron said darkly… I think… He attempts but doesn't quite succeed… does that work? Good.

**ARTHUR: Alright gang, alright now, picture time! This is Ronnies first day at Hogwarts! So here we go. **

"Soooooo… Embarrassing much?" Draco smirked in amusement.

"Oh I don't know, almost as embarrassing as never winning a match against Gryffindor in all our time at Hogwarts? But I wouldn't know that much embarrassment would I Draco?" Ron said in a sickly sweet voice and Draco scowled at him. Ron grinned triumphantly as others just shook their heads.

**MOLLY: Oh your so cute!**

**ARTHUR: (The weasley's line up and come together with Fred making signs behind Percy's back) Alright and . . . . (Slams the top of the camera down) I got it! Thats a good one! **

"I still find that hilarious!" Hermione said giggling and the others joined in now that they understand.

**(Harry stands up and pokes Arthur's back) **

**HARRY: 'Scuse me sir? **

**ARTHUR: Yes my dear boy?!**

**HARRY: I couldn't help but over-hear you say sometihng about Hogwarts? Will you tell me how to get to platform nine and three-quarters?**

**ARTHUR: Platform nine and three-quarters?! Why, its right through there brick wall! **

"Oh yeah, because that's exactly what I needed to hear! 'Oh, hello, did you know that to get on the Hogwarts Express you have to run your trolley into a seemingly normal, very solid, brick wall. Quite simple really, just run at it and you'll have more of an impact, oh and by the way, the hospital is around the corner.' I mean seriously?!" harry asked the screen and people did one of two things 1) chuckled at him, or, 2) crept away from him.

**HARRY: What? W-What?! **

**MOLLY: Oh, Arthur! He doesn't know! Must've been raised by muggles.**

**HARRY: W-what's a muggle?**

**ARTHUR: Whats a MUGGLE?! Why its a wizard who doesn't - I mean, its a wizard who can't - He doesn't know what a moogle is.**

"Haha, you know, considering Dad is all about muggles, he needs to learn the definition of the term Muggle." Ginny grinned as everyone chuckled.

**MOLLY: Oh Arthur. A Muggle is a non-magical person. **

"Finally! Some clarification!" Tom joked.

**I'll tell you what, you stick with Ronny over there, it's his first year at Hogwarts too. Alright Weasley's IN YA GO! **

"Ahh, this Mum is cool." Ron sighed thinking, 'wonder if we could switch'.

**ARTHUR: Alright everyone, In we go. (The Weasley's go off in a straight line but Molly calls Ginny and so Ron stops too)**

**MOLLY: Ginny dear. Ginny dear, you come wth me. Ginny leave the boys alone, ginny leave the boys alone!**

"Wow, Ginny you really wanted to go with your brother, huh?" Cho asked. Ginny blushed.

"Well, before Hogwarts, we were extremely close because we were the youngest but when he left for Hogwarts, it was hard. My best friend was gone. But then when I started it was all good again because not only did I have my brother, but I also had the chance to make new friends." Ginny said smiling at everyone.

"Well, as sickly sweet that sounded, I think I need a bucket." Snape said in a snarling tone.

**(Ron's hand is finally free from his sisters grasp) You can go to Hogwarts next year. (Walks with Ginny through the imaginary wall that apparently only the cast can see :P) **

**(Ron is shocked that he can now feel his circulation in his hand once again) **

**RON: Yes... At last... FREEDOM! **

"Hehe, that reminds me of Braveheart." Hermione smiled.

**GOD I hate my stupid little sister! Oh my god, she's is just such a - ugh - such a - **

"I love you really!" Ron said grinning at his little sister who smiled back.

**HARRY: Butterface?**

"Harry!" Ginny said, slapping his shoulder.

"Ow! It's not me woman!" Harry winced.

**RON: (Looks at harry) Ha ha ha ha ha... You know what kid, Your alright! (Walks over to Harry) I'm Ron Weasley! Hey! Do you want a delicious Redvine? (Takes out a pack of the most amazing tasty strawberry goodness that is redvines)**

Ron's mouth begins to water.

**HARRY: Absolutely!**

**RON: Well hey! Here you go good buddy. (Gives harry a redvine... NOM!) **

**HARRY: One of my favourite snacks in the whole world.**

**RON: Oh my god, mine too! (Both stop and face each other. They then continue to pretend they are looking in a mirror and mirror each other doing strange things like waving their arms around) **

Everyone had a chuckle at this.

**Alright, Favourite Amy Man song on three, one two three, (HARRY+RON: Redvines)**

**HARRY: Favourite colour vines other than green, (BOTH: Redvines)**

**RON: Favourite way to say red wines in a German accent, (BOTH: Redvines. OH MY GOD!)**

"Wow… if our friendship was based on Redvines, we have issues." Harry said. Ron was still salivating… not a pretty site.

**(They procede to hug each other in a very manly man hug.) **

**RON: Where have you been all my life?!**

**HARRY: In a cupboard underneath some stairs. **

**RON: Thats so cool! **

"Umm, no its not!" Tom, Snape and Hermione yelled making Harry wince.

**Alright then, well, come on... friend, lets go to Hogwarts. You just gotta go through that brick wall. **

**HARRY: That sounds kinda scary.**

**RON: Hey, its okay, we can do it together. You wanna hold hands?**

**HARRY: I'd love that. (Takes Ron's hand) **

"And so the gay relationship begins." Draco sniggered and Hermione elbowed him in the ribs.

**RON: On the count of three, (Harry: Alright) one, two three! (BOTH: WHOAAAAAAAAAA!) (They both run around the back of the curtain before coming back out) Thats a big brick wall! **

**PERCY: All aboard gang, Hogwarts Express! **

**RON: Alright, well go get our seat man!**

**(Enter alot of other people)**

**HARRY: You got it! **

**RON: Hey pall, that's a err pretty cool headband you got there! **

**HARRY: Ohh thanks, I wear it to cover this gross scar I got when I was a baby. **

"hey, I actually kind of liked it before I knew what it meant." Harry pointed out.

**I was in the car with my parents when we crashed, into a crocodile. My parents got eaten but then the crocodile got out a knife and gave me this scar. **

"That is a great story! Could you imagine that actually happening?" Ron asked.

"No, Ronald. Just, no." Remus said chuckling.

**At least thats what my liar aunt and uncle told me, so... **

**RON: Well that sucks... Can I see it?**

**HARRY: Ahh, yeah sure... (Pulls headband off and Ron starts to stutter in shock. Everyone looks at them and Fred and George can be seen poking each other) What?**

**RON: Ohmygod Your Harpot... Your harrharry... **

"Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! You're Harry Potter! Woo! What's new?" Sirius and Dumbledore said together making the group laugh a little.

**(MUSIC STARTS)**

**SEAMUS: Bloody 'ell! IT'S HARRY POTTER!**

"This is new." Harry said.

**(Everyone jumps) Seamus Finnegan's the name Mr Potter, it's a real treat, a real treat Mr Potter.**

**HARRY: Nice to - Nice to meet you Seamus.**

**DEAN: Yo, what up man, my name's Dean Thomas! You want some bubble gum?! **

**HARRY: Sure, I love bubble gum.**

**NEVILLE: Will you sign my Harry Potter poster Mr Potter? (holds up a poster of a baby with a lightning bolt drawn on the forehead)**

"Were there posters of me?" Harry asked. Dumbledore chuckled but his head.

**HARRY: Sure, who should I make it out to?**

**NEVILLE: Neville Longbottom sir.**

**HARRY: Umm, okay, Schlongbottom. (Everyone laughs)**

Everyone laughed, especially Sirius and Remus who were hearing the name for the first time. Luna just let out a quiet giggle.

**CHO: Nee How[A/N: Don't have a clue how to spell it so did it how its pronounced] Harry Potter, My names Cho Chang Ya'll, you should stop by the Ravenclaw house sometime! (Puts her hadn all over his face before walking away looking at it in awe)**

**HARRY: Ron, what is going on? Everyone's treating me like I'm - like I'm famous or something!**

"You kinda are." Sirius said, grinning. Harry rolled his eyes.

**RON: But Harry! You are! (SINGS) You're Harry Freaking Potter! (Others start to dance) You don't understand you're a legend man to us all, every son and daughter (EVERYONE: Safe!) from You-Know-Who all because of you, you were small, but I wonder, If you can recallll!**

"A flash of green light and Mum screaming is all I can remember. It's what I see when a dementor is near." Harry mumbled.

**Long story short this guys, (Whispers) Voldemort, was super cruel.**

"Understatement of the year." Tom scoffed.

**EVERYONE: Voldemort, huh shush!**

**RON: He tried to kill you and your parents, and this is where it gets intensely cool... (Others: Ahhhhhhhh) Even though you were a tiny little boy, you should've died but you survived and then destroyed, this evil guys and it's a story we enjoy to tell...**

"You shouldn't enjoy telling it. My mum and dad died because of it, and that is nothing to be happy about. Mum saved me, end of story." Harry said glumly.

**EVERYONE: Your Harry Freaking Potter! We don't prefer Gandolf,**

"Who?" was heard around the group. Except for harry and Hermione.

**merlin or Oz, you're a whole lot hotter! **

Harry grinned a smug smile, while the others rolled their eyes at him.

**With that lightning scar, you're a super start to us all! If we're in trouble we know who to calll! (Cast start shouting random things while jumping/dancing around the stage) **

**RON: The best part is! You're RICH!**

"That better not be the best part!" Harry and Hermione bother yelled.

"Of course its not! Your my best friend, Harry. You would've been even if you weren't rich, or who you are." Ron said looking his friend straight in the eye to show how serious he was. Draco admired this and thought, _That's a true friendship right there._

**(Enter Rita Skeeter [A/N: Who is played by the girl who plays Ginny])**

**RITA: Did somebody say Harry Potter? Rita Skeeter here for the Daily Profit, reporting to you love dear readers, from platform nine and three-quarters, where I just happened upon the original wizkid himself, Harry Potter - The-Lad-Who-Lived - now lets get you and me on the level HP, where've you been for ten years, are you excited to go to Hogwarts, are frightened for you're own life?**

"Hold up, why is Skeeter there?!" Harry asked, well whined really.

**HARRY: Why would I be frightened for my life?**

**RITA: Welll, ain't you cock sure?! Know this, dear readers, HP the eleven year old titan shows NO FEAR even in the face of the murderoud dog like Sirius Black!**

"Woof." Sirius said making everyone chuckle.

**HARRY: wh-who's Sirius Black?**

**RITA: Who's Sirius Black?! You don't know? He used be your dad's best friend until he betrayed him to the Dark Lord and got him killed, yup, turns out he was a Death Eater. He killed thirteen ducks before they caught him, and I mean people. He hates your guts, wants you dead, he just escaped from Azkaban,**

"All completely true!" Umbridge stated grinning with evil pouring from her veins.

"It's complete and utter pile of shit, so shut your toad hole and go curl up in a corner and die." Harry said coldly to the woman in pink, shocking everyone. Meh, she deserved it.

**Buuut that's no skin off your back kid, you know why? (SINGS) Your Harry freaking Potter! I wouldn't wince at all your invincable from all harm, like Betty Crocker, OOO! I wanna eat you up, **

"Mmm, me too." Ginny whispered in Harry's ear, making him blush as red as Ginny's hair.

**no one'll beat you up with that charm, remember Harry kid your the boss your the king your the bomb! (Talks) Keep your nose clean kid, don't take any wooden sickles naaaw!**

**PERCY: All aboard! (All kids say goodbye to parents with the weasleys taking the longest.)**

**ARTHUR: I love you so much! **

**RON: I love you! **

**HARRY: This is all too much to take I mean, this is all so unreal.**

**RON: No its not! Your Harry Potter! You're the coolest goddamn kid in the entire world, everything's awesome for you so you better get used to it!**

"Yeah, I've never gotten used to it…" harry mused.

**HARRY:(SINGS) But this is all so sad I mean my mum and dad were killed long ago...(EVERYONE: Long ago they died!) I wanna be pshyched but being unliked is all I know. (EVERYONE: All he knows that why!) I never thought I'd be a part of such a phase, an opportunity eleven years late, I guess its time for me to step up to the plate, And show 'em that I'm something GREEAAAT!**

"And we're back to the conceited Potter everyone loves to hate." Snape grinned, to show that he was joking. Harry threw a bottle of shampoo at the potions masters head.

"GO shower you greasy git." Harry grinned. Where he got the bottle of shampoo I don't know, but still… onward!

**... I'M HARRY FREAKING POTTER! I'll do what I can if what you say I am is true, I can't be bothered, by my awful past, I've found at last, something I can do, so its time I knew, exactly who I am. I'm Harry freaking Potter.**

**EVERYONE: You're Harry Freaking Potter.**

**HARRY: I'm Harry Freaking Potter, and I am the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! (Gets picked up by Ron and Seamus) **

"Woah, who knew you two had muscles?!" Cho exclaimed before bursting into giggles with the other girls in the room. Come to think of it there were four girls to seven males and a toad… very unlikely group.

**EVERYONE: HARRY FREAKING POTTER! (Start to breath heavily)**

"I'm sorry but, does anybody else feel the urge to learn that song and dance and then do one of those mob flash thingies?" Ron asked.

"Ron, I think you mean a flashmob, do you even know what one of those is?" Cho asked her boyfriend. Ron blushed.

"Isn't it where several groups of nargles and wrackspurts gather together to decide on what to do about the elf-honey-lilly population? It's grown to an amazing size, you know." Luna asked airily.

"And, ignoring the drugged up girl… Yes Ron, I want to do this flashmob thingy just as soon as I kow what a flashmob is." Sirius said. Hermione sighed as the others chuckled.

"Firstly, Luna is not drugged up, its Luna! Secondly, a flashmob is where a huge group of people meet in one place and start randomly dancing or singing. However, only one or two people start of while the rest of them are acting like a part of the crowd before joining in." Hermione stated. Ron and Sirius thought about it.

"Lets do it!" They said together.

"Oh yes because two people dancing an insane dance is going to attract lots of people." Snape drawled.

"This matter is not closed! But 'Mione, I'm starving!" Ron pouted, rubbing his stomach affectionately. Hermione sighed before dragging Draco into the kitchen to help prepare some breakfast for them all. However when the pair walked past Umbridge, the most shocking thing came out of the toad's mouth.

"Right where you belong, doing house elf work like the lowly mudblood you are." It was only muttered but as it was silent in the room, everyone heard what the undersecretary to the Minister Of Magic thought about muggleborns. Now, every eye in that room was glaring are Umbridge as a single tear rolled down Hermione's face before a crack was heard as Hermione slapped Umbridge with such a force, there was sure to be a bruise there for a while. Hermione and Draco continued into the kitchen where Draco pulled Hermione into his arms almost immediately.

* * *

**[A/N: Hey, I know its not a great ending at all but, the next chapter ending will be happy… I hope :P anyways, please tell me what you think about it and I know that a lot of you were expecting a huge deal made over the best song in the world, but meh. I know I could've done a lot better with this chapter… Let me know what you think! I love you all!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, I know it has been a while since I last updated, but exams have been on and my mums been on my back about studying and all that jazz, so I am now here at 23:38pm starting to write this chapter, just for you guys **** By the way, just asking, do you guys like the title! Haha made me giggle :P**

**DISCLAIMER: All the usual mumbo jumbo I don't own this, its not mine yaddah yaddah yaddah… It gets boring after a while!**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Train Rides With A Homeless Guy**

As Draco comforted his girlfriend, there was a certain somebody who was cowering in fear.

"Why the HELL would you say that to her?! She has been nothing but kind to you since you arrived and you thank her by calling her a fucking mudblood?!" Sirius yelled getting all up in Umbridge's face.

"Oh shut up you bloody murderer! I was just stating what she is! How she can even be considered as the smartest witch of her age I shall never know. Miss Parkinson is much smarter." Delores sniffed.

"Now you and I both know that that is completely untrue Ms Umbridge. You have seen her grades, in fact you have asked me to hand over to you several pieces of work from her just so you could inspect them yourself. Now, everybody in this room, heck in this house, knows that Hermione is one of the smartest witches of our time and she could certainly give you a run for your money. Now, why don't you shut up or apologise to the girl so that we may continue watching this musical?!" Severus yelled in a calm tone… Is that even possible? To yell in a calm tone? Anyways, it is so deal with it!

"I will not apologise to her! I am here against my will and the fact that she is fine with that does NOT mean that I have to be. Besides, she is where she belongs, here in the muggle world and we should not even be here, consorting with muggles!" Delores said shrilly.

Draco and Hermione came back through that second with several plates full of sandwiches; egg, bacon, sausage, egg bacon _and _sausage etc. However they had been listening to the entire conversation.

"You know, for a toad you sure do talk a lot of shit. Sandwich, Madame Undersecretary?" Hermione offered with a sickly sweet smile as she offered a particular sandwich to her. Umbridge sniffed and took it and bit into it. "Now, why don't you tell us why you are so insistent that Voldemort isn't back?" Hermione asked pleasantly while everybody looked at her like she'd gone mad.

"The Dark Lord ordered me to keep his return quiet for as long as possible." She replied in a monotone voice, _much like that of a person under the influence of veritaserum_, Severus thought as he looked on curiously. Everyone else was shocked by her answer.

"And why would he ask you to do that and not one of his death eaters?" Draco asked smirking along with Hermione, _got'ya bitch_, they thought simultaneously.

"I am a death eater and one of his Ministry insiders. It helps that I have the Minister wrapped around my little finger and so he believes everything I tell him. Well, he did until the battle in the ministry with Mr Potter and The Dark Lord himself. I got punished severely for letting Potter get away from me at Hogwarts." Umbridge explained once again in a monotone voice. She then shook her head and turned her head back to the group who were looking at her wide eyed. "What?" She asked. Hermione had put tomato sauce in her sandwich and it had now fallen onto her outfit. She put too much in on purpose so that they- Hermione and Draco –had a reason to get her out of the room.

"Oh, you seem to have tomato sauce all over you. The bathroom is upstairs and to the right." Hermione said smiling. Delores looked down at herself before rushing off to get cleaned up. Once she had left the room, Hermione and Draco had the entire group looking at them for answers to questions they hadn't asked yet.

"Miss Granger, is there a reason as to why she appeared to be under the effects of veritaserum?" Severus asked and Hermione had the audacity to blush.

"Well, I've never liked her much and she seemed to always be against Harry and I thought it was fishy. I thought about using veritaserum on her to see what side she was on. However, I knew that I'd have to do it illegally by stealing some off of you Professor. There was also the fact that it is against the law of using veritaserum without the permission of the drinker. But as veritaserum is temporary but effective, the drinker also recalls what happens under the influence and only feels a pull to tell the truth which wins 99% of the time. So then I got to thinking, what if there was a potion that acts like veritaserum but the drinker never recalls what happens when under the influence of the potion. I researched it and couldn't find anything like it, so I asked my mum if I could use the basement as a potions lab and started to experiment. What you saw today was the result of experiment number 5 and I believe it worked perfectly." Hermione finished, grinning. Everyone was looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"So, you invented a potion that would make a person tell the truth no matter what and make them not remember the conversation?" Severus asked, astonished. Hermione nodded, grinning. "Amazing. And what, may I ask, have you called this potion? Also, if it isn't too much trouble, I would love to see your research and the making of the final product." He asked, raising an eyebrow. Hermione beamed at her professor.

"Of course sir! I'll take you down there sometime." She replied, looking happy.

"Would you look at that, a potion that Severus Snape didn't create!" Lucius said chuckling, making everyone else chuckle while Severus sat scowling at his friend.

"I didn't know you were so interested in potion making Mya." Ginny said looking confused. Hermione blushed.

"Well, Professor Snape forcing us to work with Slytherins for partners, I got a liking to it." She blushed over her words as Draco grinned, smugness radiating off of him. Everyone raised an eyebrow. "What?! It helped that my partner was very good in potions, and being a favourite of Professor Snape's helped. Plus, I've always had an interest in potions, I just never let it show because of how much you guys hated potions." She mumbled looking down. Her friends just laughed at her. The adults let out a bit of a chuckle. However the happy vibe wasn't to last as Umbridge came back downstairs looking more primped than Draco – and that's saying something!

"Well, are we going to watch this or not?" She huffed sitting back in her seat. Everyone sighed and soon the screen came to life once more…

**(On stage there are two benches for the Hogwarts Express and there is a man lying on a bench with a beer bottle in one hand and a newspaper on his face. Harry comes on stage and opens the 'door' to the compartment and sits down on the bench after looking at the guy. Enter Ron who goes through several beeps, eye scans and many doors before being allowed into the compartment with harry.)**

**RON: Hey what's up good buddy.**

**HARRY: Hey Ron.**

**RON: Who's this guy?**

"That's something we would all like to know." Dumbledore murmered.

"Well, if you think about it, there's only been a handful of adults on the train, the trolley lady, professor McGonagal, just to name a few." Cho said quietly as she was snuggled against Ron.

"Wait, McGonagal? As in Minerva? She's a professor now?! Man she's going to freak out when we go back to school!" Tom said grinning. The other teenagers had a laugh over the look that will appear on McGonagal's face. It should be hilarious!

**HARRY: I don't know, he was here when I got here and he's asleep but I think he's homeless.**

"Is it possible for a homeless wizard to sneak onto the Express?" Ginny asked.

"It has never been done before." Dumbledore muttered, stroking his very long beard.

**RON: Gross. (sits down next to harry) Umm, we kinda got seperated at the train station and uhh, you forgot this. (holds out blue headband)**

"Awwww, WonWon wanted to give his boyfriend his headband back! Awwww!" Draco smirked and Hermione elbowed him in the stomach, even though she was trying to hold back a grin.

**HARRY: You know man, everybody in the wizarding world loves my scar, why don't you keep it. (hand on ron's shoulder)**

"I'd rather take it to cover the stupid thing." Harry mumbled.

"I did wonder where Ron got that from." Cho smiled.

**RON: (Looks at the headband in awe) Really? Wow, (Put headband on his head and looks very proud)**

**HARRY: Looks good man.**

"It really doesn't." Umbridge sneered, causing the whole group to glare at her.

"Well, you think that an all pink world is good so you have no argument there." Sirius said grinning as the kids laughed along with him. Draco was glad to be getting to know his mother's cousin, which makes Sirius his first cousin… maybe… who knows!

**RON: Thanks. Dammit, now I wanna give you something! (Reaches for bag and sticks his hand in.)**

"If that's how you roll, then sure." Tom said nonchalantly. Luna sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Tom, stop being so… butterface-ish." She said in her dreamy voice. This made everyone laugh, except the bitch.

**HARRY: Nah its okay.**

**RON: Lets see, oh (Pulls out a stuffed rat) do you want a rat?**

Snarls were heard at the mention of the rat, mainly coming from Harry, Ron, Hermione, Remus and Sirius. The other occupants didn't understand their hostility to the rat, well except Ginny as she is a Weasley and so knows what became of the rat. She didn't react because she was too busy staring at Harry and imagining him on his broom, preferably without a shirt… _Now there's a nice thought, _Ginny thought with a grin on her face.

"What's a nice thought Gin?" Harry asked, shocking her out of her dreamworld. She blushed blood red.

"Did I say that outloud? Ooops, I really need to stop doing that." She said, more to herself than in answer to the question.

"So, you were thinking about Harry half naked again then?" Cho and Hermione asked her with a raised eyebrow and knowing smirks on their faces. Ginny blushed even redder before speaking.

"So what if I was?! Cho, don't smirk, it doesn't suit Ravenclaws and Mia, your toyboy is rubbing off on you way too much. You've been together a day and a half and you have his smirk perfected more so than him!" Ginny grumbled out. This made those in question chuckle.

"I like my smirk on your face." Draco murmured to Hermione as he leaned down to give her a quick peck on the lips. She smiled and cuddled into him. Lucius smiled, _Wait until Cissy finds out, she'll be so happy, _he thought with a smile on his face.

**HARRY: Argh! NO! (RON: ARGH!)**

**RON: It-it's my rat.**

"Seriously, why have a rat?!" Cho squealed. "They are gross, carry fleas, carry DISEASES and –"

"And end up being backstabbing arseholes who are too scared of their own shadow but would happily betray his so called best friends because he thought he would be on the winning side. Well who's on the winning side now bitch?! WHO?! That's right, NOT you, you filthy son-of-a-bitch!" Remus said, standing up and getting into his rant. Everyone was shocked into silence.

"Moony, calm down." Sirius said, patting his friend on the shoulder as he calmed.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me." Remus apologised. To be honest, everyone was just shocked at the language that he had come out with.

**HARRY: Oh, your rat, Hi there(to the rat and they both stroke the rat)**

"Oh, if I knew then what I know now I would not be stroking him." Harry said in a sinister voice that made even Tom shiver…TOM!

**RON: His name's Scabbers and (Puts rat on shoulder) he's been in my family for like, a hundred years.**

"Wouldn't go quite that far." Ron said.

**In fact I think my parents found him the same night your parents died. (HARRY: Weird) I know, weird. **

"What a huge coincidence? I wonder how that could be?!" Sirius said sarcastically.

**(Goes into his pocket and pulls out a blue bag) Hey ,you want a Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Candy Bean? **

"They are amazing!" Dumbledore squealed as he pulled out some from his pocket and offered one to everyone. Everyone took one and ate them. "What did you all get?" he asked excitedly.

"Cardboard." Snape.

"Honey." Luna.

"Christmas tree." Cho.

"Glow stix." Harry said making a face. **[A/N: They don't taste too great :P] **

"Cherry lips." Hermione.

"Salty tea." Draco said, screwing up his face.

"Paper." Lucius.

"Chocolate." Remus said grinning.

"Hummus." Tom.

"Stinky feet." Ron.

"Horse shit." Sirius.

"Sun cream." Ginny.

"Frogs legs." Umbridge.

"Now now, Delores. It wouldn't do to eat your husband's legs now, would it?" Tom smirked as she scowled at him; the rest had a good old laugh about it.

**HARRY: Sure. **

**RON: They have every flavour in the entire world. (Harry puts one in his mouth and screws his face up.) They even have a poopie flavoured one **

"Do they really?" Ron asked mystified. Strange, strange child.

"Well, Sirius did get a horse shit flavour so I guess its possible." Remus said.

"Ohhh, what did it taste like?" Ron asked, once again mystified. Everyone looked at him stupidly.

"Like shit." Sirius replied as if he were speaking to a five year old. Ron's eyes glazed over.

"Wow." He was awed.

"Seriously Cho? You had to like him? _Him?! _Girl, you gots yourself some issues!" Lucius said in an attempted American accent. It was an experience many will be happy to never see again. Ever.

**but it is so rare, you'll never be lucky enough to get it. (Gasps) What'd you get?**

"Poopie Poopie Poopie POOPIE POOPIE!" Ron chanted to the screen making Cho back away from him slightly.

Suddenly, Darren makes an appearance in the room.

"Whoever keeps yelling poopie, just go to the toilet! Its only upstairs!" He yelled before running back up the stairs. Everyone burst out laughing at Ron as he had turned bright red.

**HARRY: Broken computer? **

"Huh, I wonder how that tastes." Hermione and Harry said at the same time.

"What's a conuper?" Sirius asked.

"Firstly, the way you computer is so cute! Secondly, what we are watching the musical on is a computer." Hermione explained.

**RON: Thats gross. Can't even remember the last time I actually had a candy flavoured one. (Puts some in mouth) **

**HARRY: What'd you get?**

**RON: Defeat. **

"You should already know what that feels like." Umbridge sneered, causing Cho to throw a cushion at her head. Everyone was stunned for half a second before they all started to cheer for her.

**Well I give up on these. (puts them back in his pocket) Hey! Why don't we wash these beans down with some of the greatest snacks in the entire world?!**

"REDVINES!" everyone yells together.

**RON+HARRY: REDVINES! (smile cheesily at camera) (Ron goes into his bag)**

**RON: Oh, I gottem right here in my bag, ummmm. (Pulls out a stuffed cat screaming) ARGHHH! (Harry starts screaming too. Enter Hermione) **

"Is that a stuffed tiger?" Hermione asked.

**HERMIONE: CROOKSHANKS! Ohh, (starts stroking the cat) Sorry, sometimes he just crawls into the darndest places.**

"Riiiiight…." Tom said and winks at Hermione.

**RON: Its okay, its just next watch- OH MY GOD Night Troll!**

"HEY! That's my girlfriend your calling a night troll! You better watch that damn mouth of yours Weasley!" Draco said getting all defensive over Hermione. She just looks up at him with a small smile on her face.

**HERMIONE: I'm not a night troll, I'm a little girl. My names Hermione Granger.**

**RON: Ughh. **

**HERMIONE: Jimminy Crickets, your Harry Potter.**

"I have never once in my life used the phrase, Jimminy Crickets." Hermione huffed, pouting.

**HARRY: Oh yeah, weird right? **

**HERIONE: Ohh, I'm such a big fan. Say, uh, would you sign my petition?**

**RON:(Slams her clipboard to the ground) No! He doesn't want to! **

"Ron, your cruising for a bruising." Hermione and Cho muttered before grinning to each other.

**HERMIONE: I'm collecting signatures for the rights of house elf suffrage. **

"Oh, here we go!" Everyone groaned, including Hermione. Yup you read right people INCLUDING Hermione! She finally realised that elves like their jobs as long as they are with a nice family.

**You see, I think that its just awful that there are some creatures in the wizarding world that aren't treated equally just because they were born as ugly sick little creatures with big dumb noses, and I for one think that we - I mean the elves - are just as good as anybody. Not to mention the world just isn't made for those little guys. Did you know that around six hundred house elves die in toilet related incidents every year? **

"If that were true, it'd be bloody hilarious!" Sirius laughed while Hermione glared at him. He quickly sobered up.

**HARRY: Stop talking. Umm, I'll sign it just don't send me an email. **

"What's an email?" Ron asked. Hermione and Harry looked at each other before shaking their heads.

"Yeah, I am not explaining that one." They said together.

**HERMIONE: Oh I won't, thanks Harry.**

**HARRY: There ya go. Hey are we the first people you've asked because there is only one other name on this. **

**HERMIONE: That is my name. **

**HARRY: Oh, well there you go, Her-my-one**

"Really? At least in real life you actually said it right the first time." Hermione sniffed.

**(pronounced as written) (Harry and Ron sit with ron's arm around harry)**

**HERMIONE: Wow. So Harry Potter? Did you really grow up in the muggle world?**

**HARRY: Yeah! Found out I was a wizard like two minutes ago. Weird. **

"Wow, Harry you didn't have to sound like such an arrogant prick about it." Dumbledore stated, making the group turn to him in shock. "Oh get used to it." He said rolling his eyes as he took a bite of his sausage sandwich.

"You enjoying your sausage sandwich Professor?" Sirius said smirking and waggling his eyebrows.

"Yes actually. I love it when the sausage is big and juicy and with just the right amount of salt." Dumbledore said smiling.

"Oh yeah, and whats your favourite sausage?" Ron asked grinning.

"Well, in The Three Broomsticks, Madame Rosmerta has the best sausage." He said reminiscing. This statement made every single person in that room, except Dumbledore and Umbridge, burst out in hysterics. It took a moment for the other two to grasp why they were all laughing so hard. Hermione and Ginny had tears rolling down their faces, Cho has bent over and clutching her sides she was laughing so hard. Luna was giggling her tinkling laughter while Tom was using her as a support. Snape, Lucius, Remus and Sirius were leant over each other laughing their sorry arses off while Harry, Ron and Draco were screaming with laughter.

"Now, really. Your all just crude adolescents. I would have expected more from you Lucius." Umbridge hissed.

"Oh don't get your knickers in a twist." Lucius said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Yeah, don't be such a prude. It was a good joke." Albus said allowing himself a little chuckle.

**HERMIONE: Yeah, I grew up in the muggle world too. My parents are muggles, muggle dentists. **

Just as many wizards were about to open their mouths, Hermione, Harry and Tom said at the same time,

"They are healers for teeth!"

**(Enter weird trolly lady)**

**TROLLY LADY: Candy from the trolley? **

**HERMIONE: Ever so excited to finally go to Hogwarts.**

**RON: Yeah, thats because Hogwarts is the best place in the entire world. **

"You got that right!" Everyone stated.

**HERMIONE: Yeah, and to be taught by some of the worlds' greatest witches and wizards like Albus Dumbledore. **

**HARRY: Who's Albus Dumbledore?**

**(Ron and Hermione looked shocked)**

"It wasn't that bad of a question." Harry mumbled.

**RON: He's only the bestest most bravest-**

**HERMIONE: Most wisest most talented-**

**RON: Beautiful-**

**HERMIONE: Most beautiful wizard who ever lived.**

"Right, that's settled. If I ever get married, you two are going to say that about me!" Sirius said puffing his chest out. Everyone rolled their eyes at him.

**TROLLEY LADY: Candy from the trolley? **

**HERMIONE: And my dream of dreams is to someday graduate the top of my class.**

"Well, we all know that will come true." Everyone muttered, causing Hermione to blush as red as a rose.

**TROLLEY LADY: Candy from the- (Deatheater in trolley lady outfit throws actual trolley lady off the train and pretends to be the trolley lady.)**

**DEATHEATER: (Goes up to harry's compartment and says in low voice) Candy from the trolley?**

Laughter was immediately heard, both on screen and in the living room.

**RON: (Claps hands together) Yes! At last! **

**(Deatheater is pulling out his wand)**

**HERMIONE: My parents say that candy is bad for your teeth. **

"Well, they are dentists babe." Draco said, looking down at her with a small smile. Hermione huffed and slapped his chest.

**DEATHEATER: Avada-**

**HOMELESS GUY: (Points beer bottle at deatheater) Expeliarmus! **

"Bitch stole my spell!" Harry squealed with a scowl.

**(Hermione screams and homeless guy stands up) (Homeless guy then attacks the deatheater and throws him off train with him screaming like a little girl. Hermione is still screaming)**

"God Mia, stop the screaming." Tom said covering his ears. She threw a pillow at him. But Luna used it to rest her head on his shoulder, much like what Hermione did yesterday.

**Take that you bastard ass! (Holds his wand up) Oh god dammit. (It's broken)**

"FAIL!" Snape yells.

**At least I still have a (tilts the beer bottle up to find it empty) Oh no what?! Where'd it go? **

"As soon as I find out who this drunk is, I'm going to find him and laugh at him." Ron said lamely.

**(Looks down to find trouser crotch wet.) Oh shit. (Sniffs it) Woah thats piss. **

"Ewwwww." Came from the girls.

**Wait was I drinking piss?! **

"I sure hope not." Luna said dreamily.

**You must be Harry Potter! (Shakes harry's hand much to his disgust.) **

"Right, where's the acid for that hand?" Harry muttered looking around. This made everyone chuckle.

**HARRY: What you just- you killed the candy lady! (Hermione screams and the three scream for help) **

"Hardly a lady." Umbriidge sniffed.

"Will you just shut up! I mean seriously! Nobody wants to hear your whiny little voice so just shut the hell up before I grab my dad's ducktape!" Hermione yelled at the toad.

"Bu-"

"DUCKTAPE!" She yelled once more and Umbridge sat quietly.

**HOMELESS GUY: Kids kids kids! (Shoves the bottle in Hermione's mouth) **

"Firstly, get that bottle out of her mouth. Secondly, nobody puts something in her mouth without asking her!" Sirius grinned at Draco's statement.

"Hermione, would you mind if I put _something_ in your mouth?" He asked her wiggling his eyebrows. Hermione and everyone looked shocked.

"Sirius Orion Black, NEVER ask me ANYTHING like that again!" Hermione yelled, to which he just laughed.

**Don't be afraid of me! I'm not dangerous and I'm not homeless anymore. **

"Ahah! You he was homeless!" Lucius said with a sense of achievement. Draco just shook his head at his father and looked down.

**(Takes bottle out of Hermione's mouth) My name is Remus Lupin **

This caused everyone to burst out into a fresh round of laughter!

**and I'm your knew defence against the dark arts teacher. And that so-called candy lady was a Deatheater. And she was about two seconds away from killing you, your little friend and his pet night troll. (Looks at Hermione weirdly and snatches his beer bottle from her) **

"HEY! NOBODY CALL ME A NIGHT TROLL AGAIN OR I WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE DRASTIC ACTIONS WITH MY DEVIOUS VERY _SLYTHERIN _BOYFRIEND TO HELP ME!" Hermione yelled and everyone cowered back in fear. Draco and Hermione are the two smartest witch and wizard of their age and if they put their minds together, who knows what they could do… you know, besides them… because they would be the ones to decide what to do… so they would know… first.

**HARRY: What's a Deatheater? What is that?**

**REMUS: Its a servant of You-Know-Who. I thought a few of them might show up once they learned that Harry Potter was heading to Hogwarts.**

"What I want to know is, why people keep referring to me as Harry Potter and not just Harry." Harry whined.

"Because its not real." Tom said as if talking to a child.

**They can be real hard ass dickheads. (Three gasp and cover their ears) Whats the matter with you guys? OH SHIT! (Cover ears again) You guys are kids! I gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards. I'm sorry, shoot I gotta watch my mouth around you little bastards. **

All this made the group laugh and Remus was blushing brighter than Ginny could even hope for.

**(They all fall)**

**RON: Hey, looks like the trains stopped. We're here!**

**REMUS: It was so sudden. **

**(Remus takes harry to one side)**

**REMUS: C'mere, listen this year, I don't want you to be worried about deatheaters, or that Sirius Black or-or werewolves, **

"Why mention werewolves?" Tom asked. Everyone raised an eyebrow to him. "OH SHIT! You're a werewolf?!" He asked causing everyone to laugh as Remus once again turned red.

**or anything else that could kill you right now. (Random black figure comes up behind them) **

"What is that? What _is_ that?!" Ron asked getting scared. "Its going to kill Harry!" He screamed like a girl. Oh dear. Everyone rolled their eyes at his childish behaviour.

**Alright, 'cause as long as your at Hogwarts, with me and headmaster Dumbledore to protect you, your perfectly safe, trust me Harry, no one at Hogwarts hates you.**

"Well, besides Snape of course." Harry mumbled.

"Harry I don't hate you. I hat_ed _your father. I've stopped thinking of you as your father." Snape sighed rubbing his forehead.

**SNAPE: (Throws hands down-he was the black thing!) WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?!**

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO! GO ON SCREEN SNAPE!" Snape, Ron, Lucius and Draco screamed.

"I'm glad he's back." Harry smiled. "He makes me laugh." He smiled. Snape grinned and ruffled Harry's hair making him scowl.

"NEXT next next next next next next next next! PLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!" Sirius, Ron and Tom said, reminding Hermione of that one time she went to see Michael McIntyre at Wembley. Basically what happened was, he was talking about how his son was asking him for ice cream and going, 'Ice cream! Iiiiiiiiiice Cream! I want ice cream now! Pleeeeease?' and then he was like what if that continued on when he was older. Would he start to think he had to yell for something and then say please after and he would get it? 'Sex! I want sex now! Give me sex! Seeeeeeeeeeeeex! Pleeeeeeeease?' _Ahhhhh, good show that one was. _Hermione thought with a smile on her face.

* * *

**[A/N: Soooo, I know its been a long long long loooooooong time and I'm sorry but ive had exams lately and it couldn't be helped. Anywho, please review this chapter. If you have any suggestions then let me know **** Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, sooooo, I know its been a while so I thought, 'Need to do something or they shall all hate me forever' And I couldn't let that happen so tada, here **_** I am! **_**This chapter probably wont be as great as the last one but I'll attempt to make it good :P**

**DISCLAIMER: If I have to say something here then you haven't read my story :P**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Home**

**(Carries on from last scene)**

**SNAPE: Kids, what're you doing here? Get off the train! (To Ron and Mione who scramble over to where Harry is stood and just as the three are about **

**to leave Snape speaks) Why Remus Lupin.**

Everyone looked shocked for a few seconds before the laughter erupted. Remus was looking highly insulted by his character representation, but joined in the laughter soon after.

**REMUS: Severus Snape. **

**RON: (Stage whispers to Harry) That's Snape! He's evil!**

"Trust me Ronald, He is not evil. Just a very good actor." Tom and Dumledore said together, looking at Ron who was looking sheepishly at Snape who had a scowl on his face.

**SNAPE: Get off the train! (Three start to leave) Not you boy! You sit.**

"What am I? A dog?" harry asked affronted.

"Nope, that's me. WOOF!" Sirius replied with a grin on his face making the girls giggle and harry to throw a pillow at his head.

**(To Harry and so Harry sits) So, you must be Harry Potter. I can tell by not even talking to you that your no good, good for nothing, nobody like your father. **

Three growl were heard simultaneously as Harry, Remus and Sirius looked at Snape menacingly.

"OH you know we hated each other, get used to it!" Snape snarled back. He suddenly got hit with what looked to be rolled up socks. He looked around the room for the culprit and found Lucius looking around 'innocently' for the suspect. That is however, until he got a head full of sock. He looked at Severus with a glare. "You know, before acting innocent, you should learn to hide the evidence." Severus said looking at his friend's ankles. Lucius blushed.

**REMUS: You know what, just leave the poor kid alone kay? God you haven't changed at all since our school days at Hogwarts. Hey Harry, don't pay any attention to Sour-Grape Snape! **

"Seriously, I couldn't come up with anything better than that?! I must be losing my brain cells." Remus sighed, putting his head in his hands.

**SNAPE: How dare you use me nickname!**

"What exactly was your nickname, Professor?" Luna asked airily. At this Sirius burst into laughter.

"Can I tell them?! Can I please?!" He begged. Severus shook his head no, but Sirius didn't care. "Oh come on Snivellus, please?! Oh dear, too late!" Sirius grinned as Severus had a scowl on his face.

"Really? That's it? I'm positive you could've done better Sirius, even if you are just a mangy mutt of a dog." Hermione said smiling sweetly.

"Woof!" Sirius repeated grinning at Hermione before giving her a little wink. Hermione blushed at this and Draco wrapped his arm around her shoulder to show who she was with. Hermione blushed more at this but snuggled more into Draco's side.

**REMUS: I've said it before Snape, and I'll say it again, you always have been, and you always WILL be, a BUTTRUMPET! **

"Really?! A Buttrumpet was the bet you came up with wolfy?!" Ginny said with a raised eyebrow.

"Aawooooooo!" Remus grinned and Ginny giggled and threw a chocolate at his head which he managed to catch in his mouth.

**You know why? 'Cause you've got a trumpetty butt! **

**SNAPE: No I haven't.**

"Have you walked behind yourself after breakfast Sev? Seriously, a trolls arse smells better." Lucius said in sheer disgust while the comment had the whole room bursting with laughter. Umbridge however was just wondering why she was still here when she got a pillow in the face for sitting nearer to Lucius.

"Oops. That was meant to go to Lucius, but that's a good place for it too." Severus smirked.

**REMUS: Yes! (Holds hand in front of mouth and blows raspberries with his butt pushed out and starts jumping around doing it) **

"And this is where it becomes clear that the two of you have been friends for years." Harry said grinning at his father's best friends. They both gave wolfish grins.

"You know it!" they said together before High-5ing. Ginny leant over to Cho and whispered,

"You know, we are onto like the third pair of Fred and George's here!" Cho giggled back at her friend.

**SNAPE: Stop it! Stop that! **

"Yes please do." Tom said in disgust.

"Oh cheer up you guppy!" Luna said poking him in the side, while smiling up at him. He smiled back down at her. "See! You're much nicer looking with a smile." She said serenely. _Awwwwww, aren't they cute?!_ Dumbledore thought as he looked on with a smile.

**REMUS: Hey guys, I'm Snape's butt! (Does it again)**

**SNAPE: No he's not! He doesn't sound anything like my butt!**

"Your right, its much, much louder." Ron said grinning ear to ear before promptly hiding behind Cho as a shoe came his way. Unfortunately for Ron, the shoe hit Cho meaning that after a good bashing with the shoe from Cho, he received the silent treatment.

**REMUS: Hah! Who looks stupid now? You do. **

Okayy….

**SNAPE: Alright! We're both adults now, so I demand you stop acting like a child or I'll tell Dumbledore and have you expelled.**

**REMUS: I don't thinks so Snape because I'm a teacher now, you can't expel me, I'll expel you. In fact, your expelled I just expelled you! **

"Wow, you're really trying to expel each other? That's just childish." Tom muttered.

**SNAPE: What?! That's absurd! You can't expel me! We can't expel each other... Can we?**

**REMUS: I won't pretend to know. **

"You can't expel professors, its kinda impossible." Hermione, Cho and Tom said together.

**SNAPE: Fine, then I will. Snape Vanished! (Runs off stage and Remus tried to grab him but doesn't manage it.)**

**HARRY: Woah, what a jerk!**

"Harry! That's not very nice!" Hermione said with a scowl.

"Sorry Professor." Harry mumbled while Snape looked shocked from having the apology.

**REMUS: Yeah, now listen Harry, don't let him bother you okay? You're finally where you belong - At Hogwarts. (Music starts) The place where, your parents spent the best years of their lives. **

"You mean when Mum wasn't trying to kill dad just to make him leave her alone?" Harry grinned.

"Yeah, then too." Remus smiled at his young cub.

**So go on Harry, go and find what you were always meant to be, in the home you never knew you had.**

**HARRY: I'll see you Lupin!**

**REMUS: See you in class Harry. (Walks off stage) **

"Wow, sentimental Remus John Lupin. Never thought I'd see the day." Dumbledore said grinning at the blushing Remus.

**HARRY: (Sings) Home. I've heard the word before, but its never meant much more than just a thing, I never had. **

At this, Sirius looked down. He figured it was his fault that Harry had never known home before Hogwarts. Harry realising that his Godfather was a little down, took his hand in his own and gave it a squeeze letting him know that it wasn't his fault. Everyone just smiled sadly at the two. Tom especially, as it was actually his fault for Harry not having a home with people he loved.

**A place, they say hey, know your place. I've never had a place to even know, or a face that I could go to if I needed someone there. **

Sirius actually let lose a tear as the thought of Harry being all alone with nobody to talk to for the first eleven years of his life started to sink in as the lyrics were sung. The girls all saw this and their hearts melted for Sirius. Harry hugged himself into his Godfather while Umbridge scoffed.

**(Hides from Seamus and Dean) I'm laughing, it's hard to hide a smile. My god it's been a while since I have had, a reason to. To think, it's been here all along, somewhere to belong and a reason, a something to believe in. I finally found it, a place where I'm wanted. **

"Oh Harry, you were always wanted! ALWAYS! Don't you EVER think any different! Understand?!" Sirius said holding his son to his chest as Sirius and Harry shared a moment. Harry nodded and looked around the room at everyone smiling over to them both.

**This must be how it feels, to have a home. I used to dream about it! But never schemed or counted, on fantasies or wishes, it breaks a man to see what he misses! And so many nights I prayed for a better life, a better day. And I never thought that it'd come true, now it's finally here, and I don't know what to do. And I'm trying not to cry. **

"You shouldn't hold in your feelings. They build up inside you and you just crack." Came the wise words from Tom. Harry smiled at his brother in thanks, whereas Sirius scowled at the young Voldemort.

**RON: (Pops head around a curtain) Hey Harry, lets go get sorted. (Exits)**

**HARRY: This must be how it feels, to have a home! (RUns off stage)**

**(Enter Hogwarts students who then set the benches into the houses)**

**(Enter Hermione who is straightening out her Gryffindor tie. Then enter Ron who puts the blue head band on and sits by hermione)**

**(Enter Harry)**

**HARRY: I've finally made it! I've hoped and I've waited! And for the first time in my life, I don't feel so alone! My heart starts to heal(Enter Snape with the sorting hat), to know this is real, this is how it must feel to have a home! **

**SORTY: GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! (Exit Sorty)**

"Awww, that was a sweet song." Ginny and Luna said smiling. Harry blushed.

"Hey Harry, what would you say to not being my godson, but actually being my son?" Sirius asked. Harry looked up shocked before launching himself at his godfather.

"Do you mean it?" Harry asked into Sirius' shoulder with tears dropping from his eyes when he felt Sirius nod.

Tom's heart sank at this new revelation. If Harry was going to be adopted legally by Sirius, he wouldn't want or need to be Tom's brother anymore. After all, wasn't it just to give the two a family member to hold on to? Luna took Tom's hand and smiled reassuringly at him.

"Wait! I'll become your son on one condition, Siri." Harry said, pulling out of the hug. Tom's head shot up. "You have to adopt Tom too. Now before you yell at me about how he's evil and a demented five thousand year old prick, let me finish. Tom has changed, more than anyone could've imagined. It was a good change and he now sees himself for what he used to be, a monster. He hates himself for what he has done. But, this Tom isn't Voldemort. Before you came we had started a blood bonding ritual that will be completed after the musicals are completed. It means that after the ritual, he will be my brother in everything but parentage. I need you to accept that and him before you dish out adoption papers. He goes where I go, and if you want to adopt me, then you have to adopt him too." Harry said looking over at Tom every now and again to see that Tom was shocked as hell. Sirius smiled as did the rest of the group.

"I figured you'd say something like that. I did ask you to see if it would stop you from becoming his brother. But if it mean that much to you and you trust him, then I trust him. Tom, would you like to become a Black?" Sirius said, smiling towards the boy who was holding dear Luna's hand for dear life.

"Are you serious?" He asked. At this everyone face palmed.

"I should hope so, it's what is printed on my birth certificate." Sirius replied with a grin. Tom laughed before nodding and accepting becoming a Black. "Oh and don't worry, you won't have to call me dad, either of you." Sirius said grinning. The group stared at the three men who were now hugging and couldn't be happier for them.

"So, umm, can we get onto the next clip please?! ON the picture for the clip there is a male looking woman who is wearing a lot of pink." Ron said giddily as he jumped up and down in his seat. Everyone laughed at his antics and nodded as they all settled into their original positions to watch the next clip. This time however, Tom had picked up Luna and placed her on his lap with her leaning on his chest, before wrapping his arms around her waist.

* * *

**[A/N: So, I know this is short, but hey it's a short clip! Okay so let me know what you thought, I know it wasn't great but hey ho. Alright, the next one will be up soon, just don't know how soon. All I know is this, next chapter Umbridge gets a fright.**


End file.
